


Don't You Try To Run Right Now

by prouvairablehulk



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, Len has horrible taste in sexual partners, Len has no gaydar, M/M, Mick is confused and pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-18 02:49:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10607739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prouvairablehulk/pseuds/prouvairablehulk
Summary: aka five times Mick Rory had to save Len Snart’s ass before he made a terrible decision about who to fuck, and one time he didn’t, in roughly chronological order.





	

1\. David Singh

They’ve made a habit of heading out to Saints and Sinners (the local dive bar) on Friday nights, in order that they can get drunk and find people to hook up with, in a rare show of humanity on Lenny’s part. Honestly, Mick’s begun to wonder whether Lenny’s just some kind of particularly pretty futuristic android. Usually Lenny sits and drinks until he walks the block home with a wobble and his hand gestures get more extravagant, and Mick leaves with some sweet little thing and watches Lenny until he’s inside the lobby of their crappy apartment building. Tonight, however, Lenny’s got his eye on some square-looking guy at the bar. Mick’s got to admit, Lenny has good taste – the man is certainly attractive – but there’s a major factor that makes him a no go. 

Mick grabs Len’s arm before his friend can take another step away from the table they’ve colonized.

“No.”

“Mick, seriously? I know I’ve never hit on a guy in front of you, but if you’ve got a problem with that we have a problem with each other.”

Mick rolls his eyes. Honestly, is Lenny just ignoring the fact that Mick leaves with guys as much as he leaves with girls?

“It’s not that he’s a guy, Lenny, it’s that he’s a cop.”

Len stops short, and regards Mick with a suspicious look. 

“How do you know that?”

“He was in the paper last week for coming out. He’s a detective.” 

“Fuck.” mutters Len, under his breath. “He’s so hot, though.”

“Hot enough that you’re willing to risk jail time as soon as he figures out who you are?”

Len rolls his eyes, but sinks back down into his seat, and takes another long drink of his beer. 

“I hate you.” he tells Mick.

“Jail time.” Mick tosses back. 

Mick carries Len over the threshold of their apartment, because he doesn’t trust him not to trip on the stairs, as drunk as he is, and Len makes a pleased little purr and pets Mick’s chest. 

“Thanks, Mick.” he slurs. “Whatever would I do without you?”

“We’ve only known each other for four years, Lenny.”

“Doesn’t make it less true.”

 

2\. Talia al Ghul

 

“Holy god are you out of your mind?” Mick hisses, as he and Len follow their new employer into the main area of the warehouse. “You cannot sleep with her!” 

“You haven’t objected to someone since I was 18, Mick.”

“Which was only three years ago, and I did it with good reason both times!”

“And what’s the good reason this time? She hit on me!”

“She’s a fucking assassin, Len! She’s a legitimate assassin, she kills people for money. And her father is the head of an organization of assassins. I   
don’t care if she flirted first, it’s just a terrible idea!”

Len sighs out through his nose, but stops flirting back. Talia looks annoyed about losing her plaything, but Mick leaves with an alive Len and the full payout, and that’s all that matters. 

 

3\. Sam Scudder

 

Look, the less said about this one the better. Len had turned, run a serious set of elevator eyes over the guy in his well-fitted suit, and then turned back to Mick for confirmation, as has become his habit. It hurts marginally less than a shank in the guts, to approve all these people Lenny’s going to fuck, mostly because Mick’s been in love with Len for years now. 

“He slept with your sister.” says Mick. 

Len goes from lustful to murderous in about .5 seconds, and Mick wades into the ensuing brawl with glee. 

 

4\. Malcolm Merlyn

 

Len leans against the wall as Merlyn looms into Len’s personal space, and then Len glances down like he can’t look at him straight. Mick knows that look on Len’s face. Mick knows it well from “we need to get drunk and/or laid” nights at Saints, which is somehow still their local bar, even in this version of Central. (Funnily enough, they still tended to end much the same way, with only some minor changes, namely that Lenny was a picky bastard who somehow could score with whomever he set his mind to, and that Mick had gone from undiscriminating to exclusively men). 

Well, fuck.

As soon as they are alone, Mick backs Len into a wall.

“Absolutely fucking not.”

“Really, Mick? I know I said it could be just like old times, but moderating-“

“He’s a mass murderer Lenny.”

“But-“

“Lenny.”

“What are you going to do about it?” Len teases. Something shifts in Mick’s chest – for all the weirdness of this experience, for all the odd moments that make him think he made a mistake, this is what he remembers. This is his Len, daring him even when he’s already made up his mind. Mick hefts Len over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry and Len starts laughing. 

“He was coming on to me, Mickey!” he calls. 

“Mass murderer!” Mick says. 

“His abs are so pretty, Mick!” Len tries, as though a different tack will change Mick’s feelings. 

“He blew up an entire low-income neighborhood!”

Len lets out an overblown dramatic sigh.

“You better let me pick the pizza toppings and get me beer to make up for not letting me get laid by the guy trained in honeypotting.” 

Mick would gleefully get Len laid by doing it himself, but Len seems not to have noticed that, so Mick lets him put his dumbass toppings on the pizza and brings him his favorite IPA instead. 

 

5\. Pamela Isley

 

“Do you just not have a gaydar?” Mick demands, his hand still over Len’s mouth as he drags him out of the Gotham bar they’d been meeting the Sirens in. Len and Selina were apparently old friends, which was a fucking terrifying thought that Mick would like to immediately forget and never have it brought to mind again, preferably because they never come back to this fucking terrifying city. (Mick met Batman today. Mick’s nerves will never be the same. Where the fuck had he come from? And would the kid in the colors ever shut up?)

“What?” demands Len, who is an asshole, through the muffling of Mick’s hand. Mick reluctantly lets his hand fall. 

“Ivy’s a lesbian. A very loud, very anti-men lesbian. You’re telling me you had no idea?”

“She’s a what, now?” asks Len, with that rare dumbfounded expression he never wears. 

“A lesbian, Lenny. You really have no gaydar at all. That’s just sad, in a queer man like you. We’re supposed to be better at this.”

Len cocks his head to one side, looking confused. 

Oh, my god. This cannot possibly be Mick’s life.

 

+1 Mick Rory

 

“Lenny-“ Mick starts, and then he swallows. “Lenny, you know I’m gay, right?”

“What?” says Len. 

“I’m gay, Len.”

“No.” says Len.

“Yes.” says Mick, who can’t believe they are having this conversation after over 30 years of friendship. 

“I would have known!” says Len.

“Judging by your gaydar, no, you wouldn’t have.” hisses Mick. “Also you almost died in there.”

“That’s irrelevant, Mick, you’re gay?”

“You want me to prove it or something?” asks Mick. 

“How come you’ve never had a boyfriend?” Len asks. “Fuck, I had Alexa –“ 

“Who I told you was bad news.” Mick interrupts.

“And you were right.” admits Len. “But still, you haven’t had anyone?”

“They tend to realize that it’s not going to work out at about the same time they realize I’m hopelessly in love with someone else.” says Mick. 

Len’s eyes widen. His normally expressive hands are shaking as he points towards himself. Mick nods.

“You’re saying I could have been fucking you this whole time?” Len demands, with the gall to sound indignant. 

“What?” says Mick, suddenly on the back foot.

“You idiot, I’m in love with you too!” Len says.

“Oh, I’m the idiot?” snaps Mick.

“You’re the one with the functioning gaydar.” bitches Len. 

“And you’re-“ Mick starts, but he’s interrupted by Len shoving him up against the wall of the warehouse and kissing him.

Selina, the insufferable prick, applauds. As does Harley. Ivy just looks smug, and slips Mick two “Queer Supervillains Union” pins which she says are for Mick’s coat and Len’s signature parka.

So, Mick supposes, he gets a happy ending to all his pining. Although, if Len makes him come back to this godforsaken city every year for their anniversary, Mick might have to dump his admittedly gorgeous ass.


End file.
